rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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