watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
