today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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