at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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