if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
