I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
