Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
