if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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