We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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