Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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