Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
