do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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