on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
