i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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