We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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