scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
