I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think I have vodka in my lungs
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
