I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize