why didn't you poke me back
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
