Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
