watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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