I don't usually arrange sex via text message
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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