i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize