I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
