my phone needs a breathalizer
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize