She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't turn off my feet"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
