sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
