Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
