so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My vagina is officially offended.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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