yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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