so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
