No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
