you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
