bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
