Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
