i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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