PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
