The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
