last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
