my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Buhtt sex?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
