Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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