He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
