Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
P.S. I can't hear my feet
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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