Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
