forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
