So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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