i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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