I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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