Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
