What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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