We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
