Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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