these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
