You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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