Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
