I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
