I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
