yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
