i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
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The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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