does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
