"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
